This Time Last Year

This time last year, I was just about 28 weeks along in my pregnancy with Madison. I was almost a month into a very difficult school year with a very difficult class (the hardest of my 6 years!). I was looking back to the post I wrote mid- September last year.

In that post I was reflecting on how I had just gotten home from a long day of teacher conferences. I remember being caught up in the swirl of teaching and life just flying by. Tim and I were getting so excited for Madison to arrive. My belly was getting bigger and we were starting to make all of our preparations.

I thought I would make a little comparison of what my life was like then and what it is like now.

Then: I would stay up late grading papers, writing less

on plans, or writing parent e-mails.

Now: I still stay up late, but mainly because I get home late from class and I just want some quiet time with Tim.

Then: I would wake up at 5am, check the weather and traffic report while I was getting ready - just to make sure I wouldn't get stuck on my 1 hour+ commute into work every day.

Now: Madison wakes me up around 7am to eat and then we get our day started with breakfast, coffee (for me of course), and the Today show. I see the traffic report come on and I just thank the Lord that I don't have to make that drive!

Then: I would spend my day bustling about at school teaching other parent's children, which really was a cool opportunity, but it was awfully draining.

Now: I bustle about my day: feeding, playing with, and all around caring for my daughter, finishing school work, making/planning meals, cleaning the house and running errands. Again - such a wonderful time in my life, but it can be tiring as well.

Then: I was feeling Madison kick inside of me, dreaming about the day I would meet her face to face.

Now: I get to see her cheery smiles when she first sees me in the morning and hear her sweet chirps and babbling as she discovers new things. I have gotten the privilege of getting to know her and have grown to love her more than (at this time last year) I ever thought I could.

I suppose this is more of a reflection than anything. I rejoice when I think of where I was last year(looking forward to my life today). I LOVE my job now as a full-time student and a stay at home mom! I am so thankful that Tim is able to work full-time at our church so that I have to opportunity live that life.

And yet, even in writing this, I have realized that often I hope for my contentment to be in something else besides Jesus Christ. I know last year I thought things were so busy and hard, and how perfect it would be to stay home with Madison.

These are truly wonderful days with her, but I will still face struggles, doubts, business and discontentment at times. I don't want to waste these days looking for something else to make this time even better (being home with Madison and NOT being in school). But I want to make an effort to capture and treasure each moment of this phase in my life. It will never be just like this again. And God has given it to more for a reason. It seems to be my tendency to look to the next thing, instead of just enjoying what is in front of me and thanking the Lord for it. It is in these times that I must remind myself that Christ is my hope and my firm foundation. He truly is the giver of all good things.

"Rejoice in the Lord always, and again I say rejoice" ~Philippians 4:4