Saturday, October 28, 2006

Dry Spell

I have recently been struggling through quite a "dry spell" spiritually. To be honest that is part of why I haven't blogged in a while. I felt like I had nothing that I wanted to say. At the risk of being misunderstood, I am going to be very honest, hoping that it will help others facing the same thing.

I have been struggling with some deep anxieties, discouragement and depression in the past few months. I've been down about almost everything and have been unable to pull myself out of it. I guess that was the problem. I was trying to pull myself out of it and it hasn't worked. I tried going to the Lord through prayer and the Word, but honestly, it didn't take away my problems, so I just began to give up and push God away. I thought I could handle it on my own. I am very aware that there is a physical element to depression. And this post by no means denies that, but there is also a VERY spiritual aspect to depression.

When we as believers make it a habit to look to ourselves, comforts, or others for strength instead of our Savior, we are crippling ourselves. Soon those things give way to fear and lonliness and we are worse off than when we started.
No matter the issue of discouragement or anxiety, we need to learn to LEAN on the Lord, fully satisfying ourselves in Him.

After months of pushing the Lord away, the Holy Spirit broke into my heart this morning, giving me HOPE. I woke up this Saturday morning feeling despertately in need of my Savior. I spent much needed time in prayer-repenting, seeking, and praising. A desire welled up within me that had not been there for some time. Could this have come from my heart? Certainly not! My heart is desperately evil and wicked above all things. This came from the hand of the Holy Spirit. He graciously broke into my calloused heart to reveal my sin and my NEED for his grace.

I went to His word and He "opened my eyes to see wonderous things out of His Law". I was reading through Philippians and I got to verse six in chapter one and I was just stunned by a verse I have read so many times before. The verse reads, " And I am sure that God who began the good work in you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on that day when Christ Jesus comes back again." He has promised to continue the good work of faith, which he began in me. And not only continue it.... but continue it until it is FINALLY finished. What a blessing! What a blessing that I don't deserve!

The second passage that I came to was Philippians 2:13, " For God is working in you, giving you the desire to obey Him and the power to do what pleases Him."
It is God who is working in me to bring about desire for spiritual things. It's only by his grace and his power that I do what pleases Christ.

I know that this doesn't mean the road will be easy from here on out, but I do know that God is Sovereign and that His grace is sufficient for me in my weakness.

15 comments:

LMLogan said...

wow! thank you so much julie for your honesty! this is such a rebuke to my "tight lipped" spiritual life.
when we share our burdens we enable others to carry some of the weight and encourage others in the same/similar situation.
praise the Lord for his intervening hand in our lives.

Dawn said...

Julie,
I too am challenged by your complete honesty! I am so proud of you as a sister in Christ!

Suz (the sister) said...

Jules...I loved your last 2 posts and I just wanted you to know that you are so loved! I've been praying for you and Tim daily, and although I didn't know that you were struggling lately I was praying for you in this area. God is so good and He's given you such a sweet heart and spirit. Thank you for being honest and also for allowing the Lord to work in your life. You are so very special to me! (((HUGS)))
Suz

juliechall said...

Hey Jules -
Thanks so much. I know this dry feeling at times as well and I am so thankful that it often just causes me to depend more fully on the Lord. Sometimes I think He just wants to make me more thirsty and I need that so much. I have enjoyed reading Desiring God and he says we are much too easily satisfied in life and it is so true. I hate the dry feeling, but often I realize it is just the Lord asking me to be thirsty for Him again.
Hope to see you guys soon,
Julie

Laura said...

Julie, thanks for your openess in sharing this post. I want you to know the Lord really used it in my life because I seemed to be experiencing a dry spell also. I can only too easily relate to trying to depend on myself or others for what only I can find in our Lord. This morning first thing I spent some much needed time in the Bible and in prayer. God's forgiveness and love are so amazing. Thanks again hon.
Love,Laura

Christine Cummings said...

Thank you for sharing, for being "real". I LOVE to fellowship with people like you that are honest and humble about thier sins and stuggles- sometimes it is so hard for me to throw pride aside to reveal my true self and ask for prayer and support!

Lacie said...

Julie,
I love that you posted that--what an encouragement to me. I have felt the same kind of depression and 'dry spell' as you put it. And you are so right--He is so faithful and will finish what He starts in us. I love you dearly & am praying for you. I'm always here if you'd ever like to talk.

jeileenbaylor said...

Thank you guys so much. God is so good to me to give me so many loving and faithful friends!

Shannon said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Shannon said...

Thanks too for being so open and honest. It takes humility. I've been through those dry spells too. Praise God for granting the grace that we need to endure. I am encouraged by your focus on God and I'm sure this is an encouragement to others also.

Katrina said...

Hey Jules,
I echo all of the comments already applauding you for your genuiness. I am thankful that I have a friend like you who is a constant reminder of our God. It once again struck me as I was reading your post and the verses God used in your time of need, that He gives us His faith to believe in Him as a part of our salvation and He will continue to grant us that faith as we seek to be more like Him! What a great God we serve who gives us all the things we need for a godly life!

I love you Jules!

randtwagner said...

Thanks again Julie for your great post! I can definitely identify with you! I have been reading through a book that has really helped me "Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World" by Joanna Weaver. I highly recommend it if you have not read it before. It is definitely is a daily challenge to have a consistent walk with God, but also always worth the time/effort!

journeyer said...

Jules, I have been meaning to add something to this. I just wanted you to know how much I appreciated, like everyone else, your openness here. I could really "hear you" in the post and it was really good. I can hear the joy of the Lord in your words and nearly see your smile. We are praying for you and Baylor. May this joy be our strength and may we delight in the work He is doing in us.
Love you ~ Kate

joe and rach said...

Hey jul, I have finally checked out your blog. Thanks for being so honest and open. Love ya. p.s. I finally updated my blog too.

Anonymous said...

Don't worry about your dry spell-it is a very normal spiritual experience which you wil lexpereince again and again as journey to greater intimacy with God.

Some tips:

If you feel liek crying, cry...

If you feel mourning , mourn...

Whatever you do just hold on and be patient , it is what will get you through...it is hard but hang on...they say it was Christ's love that nailed him to the Cross. It was His love but what let him endure was his patience even in the midst of being so alone...just a little bit more, brother and you will be "there" only to find that you will go through it again only to come back stronger on the other side...

God preparing his saints sp don't worry...

Anonymous